This blog post is the first of a three part series written by: Abby Tseggai
Almost everyone knows a woman who has brought a baby into the world- and how expecting families share a similar joy, full of optimism and big dreams as they anxiously wait to hold their little baby. It is easy to forget in all the excitement that the possibility of an unfathomable reality—the death of a child—can actually occur.
I want to share with you a very personal story of girl named Fana, from Eritrea. At the tender age of seven years old, she and her family experienced a tragedy that was only the beginning of decades of havoc to follow. Fana’s little sister, died unexpectedly at just five years old from an illness unknown. The emotional trauma Fana experienced stemmed in part from losing her baby sister – but mostly, it came from having to witness her mother grieve for most of her life.
Her mother’s pain and depression was so severe that she struggled to be mentally and emotionally present for her surviving children. She couldn’t move past the loss – her mind simply could not release the intense grief. She fought her hardest to manage it daily for Fana and her older brother who was 2 years older than her. Sometimes, Fana’s mom neglected their needs, falling short on being the stable adult every child needs. What Fana did not know at the time was that this was her mom’s second such loss; a year-old son who died from an unknown illness, before Fana was even born. She knew Fana was too young to understand the magnitude of having to bury her sister too, so she sheltered Fana from that tragedy, hoping to preserve her daughter’s innocence.
As the years began to pass, Fana’s sweet memories of her litter sister were becoming more and more faint. Fana would desperately pray every night to have a little sister again. It was not until 6 years later that she was able to see her mother smile genuinely, when she told Fana she was pregnant and they were expecting a baby. Fana was now 13 years old and able to remember every detail of hopefulness and fear she felt waiting to hold the new baby. She just knew in her heart it would be a baby girl and not a boy.
The day had finally come; Fana was waiting outside a hut made of clay. She could hear her mother screaming during labor. This was the first time she heard anything like it but luckily her mother prepared her for what to expect. After 4 hours of waiting patiently trying to ignore what sounded like a nightmare, the screams turned into desperate prayers and now included more than three people screaming and crying. Her father rushed out of the hut, picked her up and ran fast while screaming “No…No…NO!” She begged for him to tell her what was going on because she was so confused. It was indeed a little girl her mother brought to term, however she was not breathing. No one could believe it – the baby was a stillborn. Fana’s family would now be grieving the loss of another child.
Fana’s family experienced the deaths of three children- one stillbirth and two from unknown causes. Although the stillborn mortality rate has gotten better over the decades, women and communities still suffer from the psychological, social and economic impacts of stillbirth. Africa still accounts for 2.7 million stillbirths a year. And 5.9 million don’t live to meet their fifth birthday, due to diseases that are mostly preventable. The lack of qualified midwives and health workers and the shortage of hospitals throughout the continent are still heartbreaking. Many of the deaths occurring are unnecessary. All lives deserve the same chance!
Read more about stillbirths in The Lancet Series: Ending Preventable Stillbirths.
Cover Photo Credit: United Nations, Flickr Creative Commons
Note: Cover photo is not connected to the above story.