In my society, I believe that men have a tendency to feel threatened by the competitiveness of women. This is mainly because in Zimbabwe, men are traditionally regarded as the head of the family. Boys are awarded better education opportunities than girls are as a way to expand their horizons and increase their ability to take care of their own families in future. Tradition stipulates that girls are supposed to get married at a certain age, and therefore much time is spent grooming them to become ‘better’ wives – which in reality means more submissive wives. Of course, this means that they won’t be able to discover the endless possibilities that the world has to offer.
The tendency for some men to feel threatened by the competitiveness of women is supported by Nigerian novelist Chimamanda Ngozie Adichie. In her essay ‘We Should All Be Feminists‘, she talks about “the insecurity triggered by how boys are brought up, how their sense of self-worth is diminished if they are not ‘naturally’ in charge as men”.
I have used Adichie’s words to help me think about how Zimbabwean society in particular teaches women not to be competitive.
Traditionally, my society teaches females from a tender age that if they want to get married, they should be loyal and they should not try to exercise power because men hate competition – especially from their wives. This generalization means that women end up sacrificing a lot for fear of rejection or punishment. Socialization plays a key role in determining the competitiveness of women and girls, and so it’s important to empower girls with knowledge in the early stages of their lives through awareness campaigns and education, so that they are not limited by outdated social beliefs in their futures.
Religion also plays a role in sabotaging women’s efforts to empower themselves. Christianity teaches women to learn things quietly, never to argue and to be submissive. In the Christian Bible, Timothy 2:11-12, it says, “Let a woman learn quietly with all submissiveness. I do not permit a woman to teach or to exercise authority over a man, rather, she is to remain quiet”.
The tradition amongst Zezuru/Shona people in Zimbabwe is that women and girls must kneel down when greeting or serving food to their husbands or elders as a sign of showing respect. This tradition glorifies men and renders women and girls inferior and weak. I believe that religion and tradition are being used by society as an opium to make women docile and less competitive. Each time a woman wants to be more assertive, she is reminded that by doing so she’ll be breaking both religious and traditional laws.
To illustrate further, lineage descends through the males and not the females, which is why families rejoice more upon the birth of a male child compared to a female. A male child guarantees the continuity of the lineage, whereas girls move to the household of their husbands when they marry and change their surnames. This contributes to stifling female ambition as some husbands and in-laws won’t allow a woman to continue with her career after marriage, regardless of how educated or driven she is.
From my perspective as a young woman here in Zimbabwe, it’s clear to me that our societal traditions and norms play such a crucial role in making women and girls less competitive and less ambitious than they might otherwise be. Society must therefore be the primary agent of change by enabling and encouraging girls and women to be more independent. Boys and girls are all born competitive, but social constructs favor men over women and make us believe that these are ‘natural’ differences between males and females.