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Feminism: a controversial word that still makes many people’s eyes roll.

There’s a misconception about feminism and so in my first blog post, I’d like to share my point of view. 

Feminism is NOT a movement aimed at destroying men, but at destroying the patriarchal ideas that are cemented in society. Feminism is NOT aimed at making men lesser than women, but at improving the status of being a woman so that it’s equal to that of being a man.

Feminism is NOT about treating men as trash, but rather pointing out the ‘trash’ things that some men do that increase the degradation of women. Feminism is NOT about reversing the status quo and oppressing men, but about challenging the status quo to stop oppressing women.

I’d like to talk about an important issue within feminism: gender-based violence. This is a sensitive topic all over the world, because the idea of rape, in particular, has been non-existent in the past. Rape was not rape. Rape was a woman who had ‘asked for it’. It was shameful and women were resented for being abused. Rape was not a topic up for discussion.

Recently, with movements like #MeToo, more and more people have been sharing their experiences of sexual abuse. It has become a more openly discussed topic now than ever before.

Many women have spoken up and made accusations, and in response (to no one’s surprise) came comments such as “she’s lying”, “why only come out now?”, “she’s trying to sabotage an innocent man”, “what was she wearing?”, “she was drunk yes, but she consented so it’s not rape”. The list goes on.

To anyone asking the question, if a woman was raped 30 years ago, why only come out now? I can give you an answer – rape was not up for discussion in the past. As soon as it became a topic that was no longer so much of a taboo, and as soon as more people were supporting women who sought justice for the offence committed against them, women decided it was time.

Time to stop holding back and to stop feeling guilty for someone else’s wrongs. Time to use their voices and turn the tables on the powerful men who thought they could get away with abuse because “she was asking for it” or “she consented” (even though she had been underaged or intoxicated), or “how could I have controlled myself with her looking like that?”.

Men who don’t rape, don’t abuse, don’t seek superiority, it’s also your job to stand up against those who do.

If you are a man who supports equality for all, doesn’t support patriarchal views on sexual abuse, doesn’t treat women as objects, doesn’t stereotype women as emotional and unfit to be in charge, then YOU ARE A FEMINIST.

Being a feminist is not just for women, but for all who support equality. 

If you are sexualizing a woman because of what she wears, and if you think that it gives you the right to sexually abuse her, the problem is with you, not with her.

If you see intoxicated consent as consent, you are mistaken.

If you think that an underage child’s consent gives you any rights over her, you are wrong.

And if you think that the patriarchal ideas of society will protect you from justice, then again, you are mistaken.

The movements will not stop, feminism will not stop and you will not beat them. So, educate yourself on equality for all, on the accurate statistics of rapes and sexual assaults, on the reality for women in the world. You might surprise yourself and find that feminism is not a tool to defeat the male species, but rather to empower all people in the world to enjoy equal rights and freedom of choice.

Who knows, whether male or female, you might just find that you are a feminist.

The Conversation

8 Responses

  1. That point hit me hard…if you sexualize the women because of what she wear the problem is with men??.you mean the women shouldn’t be judged because men are not always judged ?
    If a drunk women came home late at night everyday the husband shouldn’t ask her because the men are not judged in these scenario .
    Stop fearing men from feminism.
    It was productive but I disagree some of ur opinions

  2. False accusations happen and if you take away the burden of proof whats to stop some women from just blackmailing men. Give me money or I’ll accuse you of something doesn’t have to be true. #believallwomen

  3. Hello friends! I realize I might be a bit late to the discussion.

    First of all, this was a very deep and thoughtful article with equally insightful comments by the participators of the current topic.

    I would like to outline something of a phenomenon which has brought my attention to this article.

    a fixation on any social issue might actually give rise to conflict.

    The above paragraph might be a stretch however I am reminded of a quote that states how, whole hosts of issues would not arise unless systematic attention were to be paid to the repulsive features of things.

    If in the rare off-chance my suspicion of the phenomenon proves to be true. Then what might this fixation end up looking like in the coming years? Ofcause this applies to any argument in the article as well.

    And more importantly, if true, is human equality even possible in the eyes of society as a whole?

    Guilt, fixation, reparations that appeal to the emotion, compensation for perceived slights, These are all subjective.

    I think not.

  4. I’m thirteen, but I’m rather politically active for someone of that age. I personally identify as a solid liberal (though, if you were to be more specific, a ‘left-centrist egalitarian semi-progressive social liberal’), and I definitely support women’s rights and the rights of minorities and members of the LGBTQIA+, but there is one flaw that I see in fourth-wave feminism and other culturally progressive movements that actually acts as an obstacle against a culturally egalitarian utopia. In my opinion, the idealistic culturally liberal world I want to see is one where, instead of seeing someone as Caucasian, African, Asian, or Hispanic, a man, a woman, or a non-binary person, a gay, straight, bisexual, or transgender person (of course I am not listing other genders and sexual orientations that exist as it would create a very long list), you simply see them as a human. In this world, on the matter of media representation, there isn’t even a problem of actively adding characters who belong to ‘minority’ groups, it’s simply intuitive. This is what I believe culturally progressive movements strive for to some extent; for example, feminism, at least in theory, supports equal treatment of all sexes and genders. But the problem is with modern feminism is that it’s actually, at least in an essence, counter-progressive. See, these movements are specifically differentiating men from women. Feminism is a movement that focuses significantly on sex abuse towards women, which is a very serious problem, but don’t men experience rape and abuse just like women do, albeit less? Of course, this is not to undermine the severity of rape on females, but in the long run, isn’t this categorizing the very thing we want to avoid? Isn’t true and pure progressivism about destroying the boundaries between us, and viewing each other as equal? Isn’t true and pure progressivism about overlooking our race, gender, sexual orientation? How is this grouping helping that goal? Is it not only immortalizing the idea that those groups are “different”? Is it not only perpetuating the idea that those groups require special help? Through this categorization, are we not patronizing them? Many feminists, like you, say that true feminism is about equality, and yet the very name of the movement emphasizes women. Again, none of this is to say that women’s problems are any less important than men’s problems or that they don’t matter- they should, and right now many people quite frankly aren’t doing enough to stop the problem- but the crux of what I’m saying is, instead of feminists and mens’ rights activists stereotyping and attacking each other, they should work together as humanists. True progressivism isn’t about separating, it’s about combining. A feminist by definition is someone who works to topple the patriarchy, to end the abuse of women, to stop the objectifying of females, and yet I see in society many (radical) feminists actively working against men’s rights,
    saying things about how sexism against men doesn’t exist, or taking situations that can happen to both sexes with equal severity as solely a womens’ rights problem (of course, an issue like rape is a womens’ rights problem, but it extends beyond the boundary of gender). I absolutely agree with everything you say in the conclusion of your blog, but what I feel like I have to say is, instead of ‘feminism’ or ‘mens’ rights’, it should be humanism or egalitarianism. If we truly want gender equality, then we should start by removing the boundary between men and women in these movements. While the rights of both parties are important, this categorization of movements only perpetuates the notion that we’re different and separate. In an ideal world, there is no consideration of whether you are a man or a woman, because it shouldn’t even matter. If you’re human, you deserve the same rights as every human around you. That, in my opinion, is true cultural liberalism and progressivism.

    1. Hmm. Your argument is very interesting and obviously you are intelligent. However, I think that feminism is differentiating men from women for the same reason that the BLM is differentiating Black people (people of color, but specifically African-Americans from White people.) Humans who are not straight, white, and male, have faced centuries of prejudice, a history of unfairness and embedded privilege and negative views segregating society that is not easily erased. Of course, the ultimate goal is to equalize women and men, LGBTQIA+, POC and White people, but in the meantime I think it is important to raise awareness to the prejudice specific groups of people face. The more we see the struggle of minorities, the more we as a general group of people understand each other, and the more we understand each other, the more we can see all humans as equal.

    2. I’m 13 too and I completely understand everything you said, matter a fact that’s what I was thinking. Men also face lots of problems that sadly barely anyone pay attention to and
      that got me thinking why do people still support feminism, plus if you look up in the dictionary on the internet feminism means equal rights for woman and egalitarianism is equal rights for all. That’s the problem with today’s world they don’t pay attention to topics like this because most of them want to be the “right one” And lots of them are not educated and don’t do research, they would rather say what they think instead of looking up actual facts. I’m really impressed by how intelligent you are and how you wrote everything, may I please know how did you learn write like a professor at a really young age. Drink water, stay healthy and happy and tpwk. Thank you.

    3. I absolutely agree . Bcoz this is the thought i too have for years in my mind. Well said. It’s Humanism that s to be on top of everything..

  5. That is true as far as the original definition, and the definition given by feminists themselves when asked. In practice though, feminists only seem interested in equality when it suits them. Anywhere women are leading and men need support, and any problems faced mainly or exclusively by men, are usually ignored, both by feminists and wider society. Evolution has programmed humans to respond quickly to female suffering, but men’s problems are trivialised, ridiculed or ignored. Feminism has a paradox: women are powerful, have full agency to do what they want and are equal to men. But at the same time they wallow in perpetual victimhood, want special protection from violent men and deny women’s agency when they perpetrate serious, violent crimes; either excuses are made such as claiming it’s less serious when a woman is the perpetrator or claiming women don’t do these things, therefore a man must have instigated it. These beliefs are incompatible with the tenet of equality yet feminists actively promote them. Either women are fully equal to men and responsible for their actions (including crimes), or women are delicate flowers needing extra legal protection from men while constantly living in fear of those same men being violent towards them. If the latter, there is no room in this theory for female perpetrators and male victims. All perpetrators must be held fully accountable, and all victims must be supported.

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