Silence is not Strength. Silence is Deadly.

Content note: this post refers to abuse

I used to think silence was a reflection of strength, respect, and intellect. A lot was going on in my life, but the fear of breaching what I thought of as strength kept me tight-lipped about my experiences.

My mother passed on when I was about 8 months old. My father followed when I was 12 years of age. I felt their absence in my life immensely, but I thought that I had to be strong. I did not want to weigh my siblings down with my emotions because I could see that they were battling with their own.

My parents raised me with so much love. However, in my childhood and adolescence I had my own battles to deal with. For starters, I was abused at 5 years of age. I did not speak to anyone about it.

As a result, I unknowingly adopted a lifestyle that led me down a path of depression, immorality and deceit. It was not until 2017 that I eventually opened up to my family and a few close friends. I gave them a glimpse of what had happened to me, from what I could remember. You can imagine the sombre atmosphere in the air that day.

My family immediately embraced me with love and encouragement. After hearing my story, they did all they possibly could to support me.

Seeing them heartbroken and despondent, I regretted staying silent for so many years about this traumatizing experience. It is something that has greatly affected my life in all aspects, including my relationships with those closest to me.

I write this to tell you that silence can be deadly.

Oh, how my thoughts consumed me and my mind in ways I cannot even explain. What I can say is that the impact was devastating and abhorrent to the point that it almost lost me all the truly important things in my life.

Today is different, and I am different. I urge everyone to SPEAK UP. It can be out loud or written down. However you choose to do it, let it all out and make your voice heard. Confide in people in your life you can trust. Allow them to listen to you and help you. Accept their help and support.

Do not let fear or shame hold you back.

I would say to anyone reading this and suffering in silence – try to acknowledge all that happens in your life, both the good and the bad. And most importantly of all, never ever think that you are beyond repair.

In Conversation with Kizanne James

Let us introduce you to Kizanne James. Kizanne is a physician from Trinidad & Tobago working on reproductive health and rights.

In this conversation with Girls’ Globe, Kizanne speaks about the challenges she has faced as a woman – and especially as a black woman – working in the field of sexual and reproductive health and rights in the Caribbean.

“We were taught that if you had sex or you had a boy touch you, it’s like a tomato – the more that a boy touches you the less valuable you would be. And that’s not the same narrative for boys.”

Kizanne explains that it’s being grounded in her values that helps her to handle difficult circumstances. In the face of negativity or even hateful abuse from those who disagree with her, knowing her work and advocacy empowers women and girls to make decisions about their own lives keeps her motivated.

“Regardless of what I may be feeling, or the negative voices or concerns people may have…I feel like I’m on the right side.”

This video was made possible through a generous grant from SayItForward.org to support women’s advocacy messages.

If you liked this post, we think you’ll love our conversations with KingaWinfredScarlettNatasha & Tasneem, too!

In Conversation with Tasneem Kakal

Tasneem Kakal is an advocate for sexual and reproductive health and rights. Born and raised in Mumbai, she spent 5 years taking a daily train to and from university. In this interview with Girls’ Globe, Tasneem tells us what the experience taught her about navigating public space as a young woman.

“I would walk up the stairs and go to my platform in this huge crowd of people. And I realized I was doing something that I didn’t know I was doing…”

We all have the right to move through the world without fear. Public space should be accessible to all, regardless of gender. By raising her voice and bringing attention to the everyday nature of inequality, Tasneem stands in solidarity with other women and girls.

“I had to push the boundaries, little by little.”

This video was made possible through a generous grant from SayItForward.org to support women’s advocacy messages.

If you liked this post, we think you’ll love our interviews with Kinga, Winfred, Scarlett and Natasha, too!